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You comment, I give you an age (please tell me how old you currently are so I don't inadvertently move you into the future) and you respond to the meme questions with what applied to you back then, and what's true now.

replyhazy gave me 28. Which is kind of beautiful, because that's when I started Bellydance classes!

And the main comment that comes to mind on reading through this entry is: Everything in my life has changed[*].

I lived in:
Woodley near Reading, with my ex (who wasn't my ex yet). It was a 3 story townhouse, with a beautiful silver birch tree in the front, which triggered all sorts of allergic reactions for me. I spent the whole time I was living there being runnynosed and sneezy, I developped hayfever, and I became allergic to cats (which is a big shame because I *love* cats).
Now, I live in Guildford, which is closer to "home", i.e. where I grew up. In the intervening years I've lived in Eton Wick (near Windsor), and Farnham. I'm in a tiny flat now, my whole flat would fit into one floor of my Woodley house! But it's cosy and it's got everything I need, and makes me limit the acquisition of Stuff. This is a good thing.

I drove:
My first ever car, a red Citroën AX, which was the smallest of the Citroën range at that time. I'd only been driving three years. I was a late starter!
Now, I drive an old-lady-car, a silver Nissan Almera. It's a bit bigger, and I think I'm better at looking after it now.

I was in a relationship with:
I was married to Mark Hobbs. We'd been married three years earlier, and we'd be separated a year later, for really not good reasons at all. But at the time, I did not know that was on the cards and I was pretty much blissfully in love. I wasn't a grown up all the time I was with Mark, and actually I don't think we were very good for each other.
Now, I'm in a relationship with the Gentleman Friend[**], and I'm a bit more grown up. We don't live together or anything, and I always balk when he calls us partners, because I think that's a far more permanent and quasi-marital relationship than what we've got. But we're nearly 50 for heaven's sake, it's ridiculous for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend!

I feared:
Nothing! I didn't really have a clue!
Now, I mostly fear old age without children to look out for my interests. I see how my mother spent her last few years and I wonder how she could have managed if my sisters and I weren't always around, and getting things done for her. I know I have nieces and nephews, but I don't see that they would have anything like the sense of obligation to me as they do for their parents.

I worked at:
Lovegrove & Elliott, solicitors in Windsor. They're gone now. I suspect they went bust, possibly because they were too top-heavy. The 4 main partners were all loaded, and when they retired in turn, they would have taken their wealth out of the partnership. They'd not really considered the succession, and had a series of junior partners who kept leaving (myself included), so at some point, it would have all fallen down because there was no-one who could put in the money that the senior partners were taking out.
Now, I am happily no longer a solicitor. I've got some part time work for Surrey Adult & Community Learning, but it's only very part time, and I'm mostly unemployed and living on capital. I'd like to be more involved in Adult Ed, and one of these days I'm going to have to get a proper job, but there aren't many jobs going in ACL, and I still don't know what else I would like to do.

I wanted to be:
I wanted to be a mother. There was a brief time when Mark & I agreed that I'd come off the pill, but in my heart I knew Mark wasn't ready, would not be as happy as I would be if I were to tell him I was pregnant. I'm not the sort to trick a man into unwilling fatherhood. So I went back to taking my pills, and hoped that things would change (remember what I said up there about not being a grown-up). Things did change, but not the way I hoped.
Now, I want to be happy. I've struggled with Depression in the last few years, and I've been off anti-depressants now for nearly 2 years. I think I'm doing OK, and I know now what to be aware of and how to protect myself. So I just want to carry on being happy and relatively normal.


[*] Except for Bellydance!
[**] Whose privacy I clearly value more highly than I do Mark's!

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Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
diva_c
Mar. 26th, 2013 08:17 pm (UTC)
Interesting reading. Go on then I'm in. You know how old I am.
beafarhana
Mar. 26th, 2013 09:03 pm (UTC)
Let's hear all about you at 35 then!
diva_c
Mar. 26th, 2013 09:33 pm (UTC)
Ok will do
nimeue
Mar. 26th, 2013 10:47 pm (UTC)
Yes, I'm in (might be interesting to revisit my life), I'm 45.
beafarhana
Mar. 27th, 2013 03:02 am (UTC)
Let's go young for you- try 20.
_ocelott_
Mar. 27th, 2013 04:53 am (UTC)
Oh, this sounds fun. Count me in! Currently 31.
beafarhana
Mar. 27th, 2013 02:11 pm (UTC)
Excellent! Let's see what you can remember about being 23.
bintblue
Mar. 27th, 2013 04:55 am (UTC)
Hey, my comment disappeared! Trying again! 39!
beafarhana
Mar. 27th, 2013 02:10 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I saw there was a deleted comment. But I'm glad you're in- let's see how 22 was for you.
bintblue
Mar. 27th, 2013 02:59 pm (UTC)
Yeah, sorry--I iz bad at the internet! ;)
suzycat
Mar. 27th, 2013 12:11 pm (UTC)
ME PLZ! I am 48.
beafarhana
Mar. 27th, 2013 02:08 pm (UTC)
30 for you.
imagnocean
Mar. 29th, 2013 09:35 am (UTC)
*hugs* (because it feels appropriate)

I'm in x (I'm 31)
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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